i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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