the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
