No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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