It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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