to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize