come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
