How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
