I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
