It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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