Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize