guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
