I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
