Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
