I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
