Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
