Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize