hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize