Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
