$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
