How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
