It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
