I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
