Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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