Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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