I need help removing her.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
