Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
