I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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