Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
