i would punch a child for taco bell
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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