I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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