Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize