Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize