I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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