seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Randomize
