I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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