Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize