I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
