So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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