you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
