I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
