So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
