This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize