i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
