I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
