Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
