i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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