Nicole vs. Life
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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