There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
