the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
