It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
