I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
