she smelled like a LAN party
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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