I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
