so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
