This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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