I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I want to be your penis for a week.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
