There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
