Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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