I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
