I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
