i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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