you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
